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Today I hosted a Meet-Up and shared another tool used for Lifecoaching, ie personal development, improvement and healing, which is affirmations. Here are some of my thoughts, experiences and examples of it.
I started using affirmations in 1995 when I read Louse Hay‘s book You can heal your life where there is a list in the back with examples of symptoms, how they correlate to our thoughts and what we could affirm instead to counter the illness and transform it into more care and self-love.
An affirmation is a positive statement expressed in presence (as if we already think and feel it) that we say to ourselves, for example: I am successful, often in order to raise our self-esteem and self-confidence.
Another great author on the subject is Wayne Dyer, whose book The Power of Intention was something I read in 2005, among others, when I listened to one of his lectures in Honolulu where he also introduced Ask and it is given by Esther and Abraham Hicks, which too have been proven helpful to me. He gave examples of how I allow myself to receive and It is my intention to feel good was working for him, so I used them too for a while. The best way though is to look into our own beliefs and create our own personal statements (which I also did on FB for Unity Church a little while in 2011).
I realized that I often felt a resistance, or simply that I didn’t feel the thought, or affirmation, that I was trying to say to myself, was congruent with what I was actually feeling. It simply increased the discomfort instead or even made me doubt from time to time. This enabled me to on one hand start to use mantras as prayers in my meditation practice instead, and on the other hand dissect and change the affirmations into something that would take me from one level to the next, step by step emotionally. One of today’s meetup-participants also suggested that we can add “I choose to… or I am willing to…” to bridge that gap.
So, for example if the sentence “I am successful” doesn’t feel true, we must ask ourselves why and define what succesful means, while we discover which thought patterns we have. If successful is to have a certain standard of living, to be famous, to have much money, to feel productive and creative, to be married and/or similar and we don’t feel that we have that, we simply feel the opposite or a resistance to the affirmation and must create a new, which for me became: I have enough. This produces a sense of trust and gratitude which enable us to attract more of what is good.
Affirmations is often used to lessen worry or to focus ourselves towards performing a task. Emphasizing a positive statement enable us to feel centered and more prepared. This can also be done in meditation when we also become more aware of our thoughts. The book that made me possible to evolve in this fashion is Ten Zen Seconds by Eric Maisel, which I read in 2011. He teaches that we must be aware of our breath while we say affirmations, by inhaling the first half of the sentence and exhale on the last, such as I feel (inhale) supported (exhale).
A mantra is a more religious statement that we often chant out loud in a language that we most often don’t comprehend which makes it necessary to focus more on the pronounciation and melody which also are tools for centering. But what we believe also becomes our mantra…
The development the last ten years or so, I feel has made many people more self-centered, more envious, isolated and grudging in a way the seems like a self-proclaimed entitlement with less consideration of the whole, a constant search for validation or putting blame on each individual where everything is to be “only lived here and now” confusing a sense of presence with the need to take responsibility also for our past and our future jointly together as a community. This is why I advocate that we should start creating affirmations with We in them too, such as We are successful. We have enough etc which, just like prayers, creates goodwill for many with compassion and a positive attitude to life.
What do you wish and desire for yourself? Can you wish that for someone else too?
If you have read my blog for a while, or perhaps received my emails a couple of times, I am sure you might wonder what’s up with my first name changes… Well, it’s simple. My last name Telluselle is what I will keep of course and call myself online, as a personal brand and as part of my own sense of self.
Camilla represents my feminine side and Alexandra (that I changed from Elizabeth in 2007) my masculine side. Maria my Christian and Mystic side (like my grandmother) and…
In the United States (and many other countries) the first name in the order (Camilla) is the legal name, whereas in Sweden we can use our second as the legal name; ie “tilltalsnamn” (Alexandra). This was part of the confusion by for example Hawaii Pacific University who didn’t understand the difference so I am going to sign my official documents from now on again with Camilla Telluselle, be called Alexandra, and be referred to as Telluselle overall.
My former last name, which is my noble family name by birth, is Charpentier Toussaint Le Clair, which means “Woodworker of All Saints” – someone who creates and builds something like many of us do with words (or music, photos, dances, art etc).
The question what is going to be my signature piece, however, time will tell.
Photo of St Eugenia from the church with the same name in Stockholm.
One of the most important things while practicing Qigong is to do conscious breathing together with the specific motions while also visualizing the effect one wants (what the motion is for). Each inhale and exhale is to be in tune with moving our hands towards or from our body (up, down, to the sides etc) in a natural flow.
We can also exhale with force to remove bad energy (repressed emotions, toxins etc) and we inhale to receive new energy, and pause inbetween breaths. I fell into a breathing pattern when I focused too much on controling it, instead of just observing it, but this also enables me to change it according to my needs, so now I am practicing to inhale more than exhale.
This is congruent to me, in comparison to the Hawaiian “ha” used with the massage-therapist performing Lomilomi for best effect. How we breathe is also important for meditation. When we have good Qi/Chi (energy) we are also more in tune with nature.
It is through our breath we share life.
To me dance is both healing and a tool for personal development. According to holistic medicine, we have chakras that symbolizes different aspects within ourselves where our energy must flow in harmony with all of them for us to feel well and be in balance. This can also be understood through the natural elements. Different dances with their specific motions and rhythms affect us differently. This is how I restore my health through dance and energy healing:
Root and sex chakra – African dance – Earth
Stomach and third eye chakra – Qigong – Air
Solar plexus chakra – Isadora Duncan dance – Fire
Heart and Throat chakra – Hawaiian Hula – Water
Crown chakra – Meditation – Man
All practices have all elements and chakras within them, but depending on what we focus on, we can accentuate or find new insights, comfort and aid to express ourselves thru the different variations.
I started dancing when I was six years old with classical ballet, followed by jazz and show dance in my teens and early adult years when we moved to a different town, Even as I got educated as a copywriter at Berghs’ School of Communication, I took night classes in dance and began to secretly questioning if copywriter was the right profession for me, getting more interested in layout and design instead, based on having worked with decoration in stores and thinking of scenography. Today I wonder what would have happened if I had found the Isadora Duncan style in the early 90’s…
After a hiatus for about ten years when dealing with a trauma, I got back to dancing thru African, jazz and Hawaiian Hula which enabled me to rekindle my passion, looking for the rose.
All this time, I have always had a difficulty to “nail” a choreography quickly, most often needing at least three classes to be able to express myself fully even with short sequences. African dance is more simple because of the repetitive motions but when it comes to all other styles, it’s different. By learning technique we recognize certain motions to be the same with a little variation so we can get down to it quickly. Yet, it has always been a little confusing at first for me.
With Isadora Duncan dance it is suddenly easier. Not that I know the right technique all at once, but many times I feel a “deja vu”, with some of the details or simply feeling more at ease with the waltz tempo. I love the feeling of experiencing inspiration rather than simply reading about it. I haven’t read Isadora Duncan‘s book yet, nor have I looked at all the videos of her dances either, which makes it fascinating to me when I do and realize how I can relate to my own journey with hers in some ways and thereby feel confirmed and validated.
Each generation puts down a mark and starts something that we should follow, learn from and develop further, or to close the circle to heal the soul before us. A piece of our soul become transfered to the child. I think Isadora Duncan herself would have liked to return to the United States to celebrate victory if she had lived on longer.
I used to have a problem with wearing a scarf around my neck for quite some years by the way…
But now I don’t.
When we are children, we all dream of becoming a certain profession and living a certain way. This dream follow us up into adulthood where it at best becomes a goal that we can reach thru education, experience, talent, contacts and other resources.
We also belong to a collective dream depending on which culture and country we live in. For example in Sweden it was referred to as The Welfare State in the 1960’s and in the United States, it is referred to as The American Dream. These collective dreams become the vision for how society should be developed according to standards and rules decided thru politics, but what happens when we want to change dream? Can all dreams be achieved? What do we strive for when our dreams end? This change can be called for due to generations, migration, environment, conflicts, depression and similar influences. But it can also be decisions made by individuals who simply want to change playing field or can’t make their personal dream come true within the current organizational/national setting.
The collective dream is the foundation of the organizational culture (attitude, code of ethics, clothingstyle, language, hierarchy structures etc) built on the common values of the society it pertains. The individual dream is the foundation of the personal wish to be fully accepted and confirmed as successful within this culture. When many individuals have achieved their goals towards living their dream, we must redefine the dream or perhaps simply make a generational shift to mentoring it. It is having a dream that motivates our need for self-realization which in turn creates a sense of hope and connects us working together for it.
To be it.
To feel it.
To create it.
To fight for it.
To develop it.
To share it.
To be continued.
Which dream do you choose?
Here is some more inspiration.
Good health to me is everything. It is the foundation of our lives while accepting what we can improve and what we need to live with. Here is what I prefer to do daily physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, since 1995:
CARE FOR MYSELF
* 9 (or 7 due to dreamcycle) hours of sleep
* Three meals a day and snacks with glutenfree, mostly vegetarian food (such as quinoa, brown rice, tofu, quorn, brown sugar etc with fresh organic produce), fresh clean water, herbal tea, dark chocolate, lots of nuts and seeds and some Aloe Vera pulp with vitamins and flax seed oil on occasion.
* Shower with seasalt regularly.
* Qigong, dance (chanting, Hula and Duncan, sometimes Modern and African) and yoga
* Walking in mother nature
* Read and watch media with discernment
* Create my own to share inspiration and wisdom before I read others online
* Shut off computer and phone when not using, always during sleep
* Express gratitude
* Plan by writing down what to do
* Play by spontaneity (for example photographing, singing, dancing and socializing with a glass of wine now and then)
* Pray by saying grace, morning and evening as well as attend church and read a little in the Bible
* Being aware of my own reactions, receive insights and allow myself to grieve when needed
* Seek out joy and laughter
CARE FOR OTHERS
* Reply as soon as possible
* Provide information, follow up with documentation etc as needed
* Honor deadlines
* Validate and confirm with positive feedback
* Initiate help and contact often
* Communicate with honesty authentically without gossip
* Setting firm boundaries but remain open to suggestions
* Accept and welcome others as they are with compassion
CARE FOR EARTH
* Recycle bottles, cans, paper and cardboard boxes
* Choosing organic and local products
* Using hygiene products only with biological ingredients
* Expressing gratitude towards all that I receive
* Blessing places and spaces
* Keep my house in order and cleaned
* Cherish nature with animals
What needs to improve? To relax and cuddle more but this also has to do with getting my needs met on all levels while having to deal with others’ opposition, threats and attempts to destroy my health and also to respect my own and others’ time, which I also would like to receive a lot alongside compensation and investment.
How do you treat yourself, me, others and earth?
Something that I learned while I lived in Honolulu was how to ask for, receive and give help to myself and others. We all need each other, also here in Sweden where so many keep to themselves and seldom interact with “strangers”. Yet, asking someone to give you the coin you’re missing in the grocery line not only enable you to pay correctly but also for the other to feel generous and receive the gratitude of the receipient when it is done spontaneously and unconditionally. But as soon as your help is based on assumptions of what you see fit or simply a covert way to express pity for you to feel better or more powerful than the other, the giving becomes a subtraction instead.
Giving and receiving needs mutual trust for our vulnerability to be known while showing respect for our boundaries. This doesn’t only apply in regards to money or gifts, but also to sharing our time, attention, validation, support etc.
In our strive to be independent, it seems like much have been lost due to the unwillingness to submit oneself to healthy relationships in growing, meaning mutually defined and agreed upon and communicated regardless of whether they are friendships, business partners, family members or spouses. Yet, we all need to depend on onenother, not only the people we thought we could based on our history together, but also on new acquaintances without taking it for granted.
When the dependence is mutually experienced as gratifying, we feel more loving and more free because it enable us to bond and create a sense of safety from which we can grow.
Who do you depend on and for what? Who depends on you? Which conditions do you put up in your relationships?
Let’s build and meet together in a bamboo house designed according to the five elements, run like a co-op, close to the city in a park near you, to practice and participate in Qigong, Isadora Duncan Dance, Hawaiian Hula, Meditate, Coaching, Conversation circles, Organic café and more, to become inspired to live a healthy lifestyle every day, with memberships available to clients. Contact me for more information!