August has entered. The sun is setting a little earlier, and the evenings are a little chillier. Today, when I went into Lake Mälaren, connected to the East Sea, where I live, I noticed the water had become colder and the level had risen. Soon, it will become fall again, I thought. Nonetheless, the sun warmed me nicely and allowed me to relax into a bursting laughter, like so often, when I let go. Letting me enjoy the moment.
I set an intention for July, to realign myself better into the rhythm of the day, with the goal to go to bed by midnight and get up at 9 am, so I can become better in shape to start working. However, since I can sense things from afar, such as arriving mail, real and implied threats and how others are thinking of me, I was instead awakened 5 days of 7 at about 4.30 am and held awake until about 6.30 am, so again, I had to sleep in, to get my rest. Nonetheless, two weeks in, I was offered a new American freelance assignment!
Since I have to prioritize getting an income, I started directly on a happy note, eager to see what AI can be about. Yet, another Swede, like so often, getting in my way. If there's something I'm tired of, it's office politics. That's why I freelance! Unless, I would be the manager of course, and going all in, performing those duties instead. I'm pretty sure, that's why I'm so often perceived as a threat.
Walking barefoot in my apartment, relishing that it's warm enough to not have to wear socks yet, and happy I can squat and rise again, without the support of my hands, like I've always been able to, until two years ago, when I was in a forced psychiatric care unit (another example of people not wanting me to use my intelligence for the higher good on a managerial level) and therefor gained 40 lbs. And hence feeling immobilised. It took 6 month of physiotherapy and a year of recovering from this trauma, to squat and rise, to be able to do a plié again.
Sometimes, we procrastinate or wobble in our convictions, but sometimes it's just others creating obstacles. Creating resistance, creating conflicts. Completely un-necessary.
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